Removing the Veil

I am always amazed at how insecurity comes in like a flash flood, crashing through the dams of my own will. As much as I try to build up resistances to the insecurities that haunt me, I still get knocked over by waves of embarrassment and fear. Insecurity can be crippling. It can intimidate you into resisting God's calling on your life.

When I finally published the first post of this blog after fighting it for months, there was a sense of relief. But as I thought about people actually reading it, I went into a tailspin of panic. I wanted to run and hide. I didn't think I could ever post another thing, because I was so afraid of what people might think. But then I realized that "I" had become too big a part in the equation. God has given me a vision. A vision of women coming into all that God has planned for them. Coming out of their veils of insecurity and giving them abundant life. He wants us to stop comparing ourselves to each other. To stop pretending we have it all figured out and to be real with one another.

The whole reason I named this blog "Butterflies in Blue Jeans" is because of my desire to see women be comfortable enough to share their hearts. To stop dressing ourselves up for one another. But yet there I was, wrapped up in that veil myself. And so, I am facing my insecurities and I am choosing to be secure in Christ. I am not going pretend to have all the answers. Most days I vacillate between having complete and utter confidence in God and being completely enslaved by fear. But at the end of those days, I know that I don't have to depend on my own understanding. I will continue to allow God to be my shelter and my refuge and my strength. And when the flood comes in, I know exactly where to hide.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast,
trusting in the Lord.
Their hearts are secure,
they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
Psalm 112:6-8